The Candle
by Princessinblues
Summary: Five years ago, Bella lost the love of her life. When she sees him for a moment, is he really there, or is she just dreaming? I know this has been done before, but I promise you won't be disappointed! TEMP. HIATUS
1. Chapter 1

**This is an idea I had one day. I had to type it out. Please read and review!**

**Mood Music: I Never Told You-Colbie Caillat**

A part of me died that day. I'm not sure how much, but it was enough for me to stop functioning. I've learned a heart can never be split into perfect symmetrical pieces, hearts can't break perfectly in half.

I wanted my heart to, but instead it was like it was ripped apart and who I used to be was stolen from me. Yes, they say time heals, but in reality it doesn't.

Years, months, days, hours, minutes, and seconds all blend together when you have nothing left to live for. Everything is gone. All that's left is air, air that he breathed on his last day.

And sometimes the dull ache gets too hard to bear. Whenever a sappy love songs comes on, I burst into tears. Even the simple things like folding laundry can somehow make you think of the person who used to be by your side, joining you.

And the worst part of it all is that I've got no one to turn to. I'm like some malfunctioning robot stuck doing the same routine but never really living. People laugh and are happy around me.

I can't remember the last time I was happy, or even pleased. Life was all just a mirage, fading into the distant not long enough for some, too long for others.

My life exists in my dreams, when I'm free. The day time everything is too bright, too happy. The night time things can glow, unlike during the day. There's darkness with signs of life.

There's small stars that shine in the sky, I wonder if he's shining up there with him. I would do anything to be close to him. Not anything stupid or mindless, but a lot of times I go to the place that brings me closest to him.

The meadow. It's hard not to cry as I make the walk toward it. In my hand lays a letter, I drop letters there. Maybe he reads them, or maybe I'm just mental.

Writing letters to him is my therapy. Of course I trip on a few tree roots as I make my way to the clearing. I take a deep breath as I walk into the sunshine.

I feel the heat on my back, but I can never see it. Sunshine holds no meaning for me anymore. I sweep a stray piece of hair off my cheek as I walk to our spot.

I assumed Edward wanted to be buried here, because he loved this place very much. It was 'our spot' as he put it. I put another letter on the grave.

In carefully written letters the name "Edward Anthony Masen" pops up. I touch the smooth marble, and it's cold to the touch. I sit down, and cry.

"It's been five years today." I started.

"Five years since you died," I chocked. The days never got easier.

"Five years since you went on your last drive." I continued letting the tears fall.

"Five years since the worst day of my life." I cried. My body shook with broken sobs.

"Why did you have to get into that car on New Year's?" I asked him feebly.

"You could've stayed home with me," I shook my head.

"You said you had to go somewhere, to pick something up." I sobbed.

"I still don't know what was so important," I continued.

"I wrote you a letter," I spoke setting down the letter with careful fingers. The one I'd written a while ago was missing. Maybe the wind made it fly away. I'll never know.

"Maybe I'm so stupid for doing this, but I feel like you're here with me," I cried.

"I still love you, Edward." I admitted.

"Even more every day." I continued.

"I'll just leave this letter here," I remarked getting off the grass covered ground.

"Bye, Edward." I sobbed as I started to walk away. And for a second I heard a tearless sob, but maybe I was crazy. I'm already crazy.

I walked back into the forrest and eventually find my car. I get in and start the engine. Each time I go there, it feels like it's harder for me to walk away.

Because anything that's left of Edward is there. He's up in Heaven, maybe watching down on me. I considered joining him up there more than a few times, but I couldn't.

Edward's words rang in my ears every time I tried. So, I attempted moving on. I went to college, got a teacher's degree and teach.

Teaching gives me a relief, I want to help people learn. I teach a wonderful batch of high schoolers. Or mostly wonderful. I teach driver's ED, which does get me closer to death with each new student.

I love it though. For me I teach them what you should do on the road. I'm notorious for teaching about the dangers of drunk driving. There are so many dangers after all.

It was around eight am in the morning. As soon as I got into my driveway, I raced inside. I dressed in nicer clothes. I put on the necklace Edward had given me so many years before.

I rubbed it and put the ornimant gently with my fore finger. I'd kept a promise to it. I'd never stop loving the man who gave it to me, and I promised to never forget.

I put on flats, since I still wasn't quite ready for heels. Even at my age I trip in heels. Constantly. I got into my car and drove to the high school.

Forks High School. The same high school I went to. The same high school Edward went to. I walked in, through the mob of students and found my way to my classroom. I also taught English, which I liked very much.

The bell rang, and I was standing as the mob of students came into my room. They sat down in their seats.

"Hi guys!" I greeted.

"Okay, so I hope you did your homework. Please get it out so I can check it." I instructed as I walked along the room.

"Kyle, let me guess you didn't do it," I sighed looking up from my grade book.

"You know me too well, Ms. Swan." He replied. I shook my head and wrote a small red X next to his name.

The whole class laughed at my previous comment.

"Okay, now please take out your notebook so you can take notes." I spoke. I was never much for long lectures, so we would often have group discussions.

I saw Madison, one of my students look blankly down at her book. Madison looked terrible. Her eyes were scarlet red and tears were skimming down her face.

My heart broke at her sadness, and I figured I'd ask after class. I had to make sure she was okay. She had been absent for the past few days, since Monday.

After a lengthy class, I quickly announced homework.

"Okay, guys! Read chapters fifteen through twenty." I instructed before the bell rang.

"Madison, I would like to talk to you after class," I added. Madison looked up as I called her name, but did not respond.

The bell rang and I shut my door as soon as the rest of the class piled out. Madison did not move. I walked over to her desk, and sat down on a desk beside her.

"Madison, is something bothering you?" I asked kindly.

"No," She cried.

"Madison, you've been absent for a while, and you're crying. Please tell me what's wrong," I spoke.

She did not respond, but put her head in her hands.

"Madison," I urged.

"Why do you care?" She blubbered.

"I'm your teacher, I just want to know if you're okay," I responded.

"I'm okay," She shook her head.

"No you're not, you can't lie to me," I shook my head as I got off the desk and paced around.

"My boyfriend died, okay? On Sunday night," Madison admitted. I stopped dead in my tracks.

"I'm so sorry," I apologized.

"So am I," She agreed.

"How?" I whispered.

"Drunk driver, hit him head on." She sobbed. My heart broke for her.

"I'm so sorry, Madison," I told her as I came over and gave her a small hug.

"That's what every one says, how do I know you mean it?" Madison questioned.

"Madison, the same thing happened to me," I admitted.

She looked up and sat straight in her chair.

"It did?" She whispered.

"Yeah, it did," I nodded putting a loose hair behind my ear.

She was speechless.

"How long ago?" Madison muttered.

"Five years," I replied.

"So that's why you teach a driver's ED class," Madison remarked.

"Yep," I nodded.

"I just never thought it would happen to him," Madison shook her head.

"It could happen to anyone." I sighed.

"We were going to get married after school ended," Madison continued.

I frowned.

"I'm sorry," I sighed.

"It's fine, it's just so hard." Madison cried.

She stood up, and grabbed her stuff. I came over and hugged her softly.

"I know," I whispered.

"I'm sorry you have to listen to all my crap, but there's no one I can tell it to," Madison cried. I gave her a tissue and she muttered a 'thank you'.

"It's no problem," I told her.

"Tell me if you need anything," I offered. She nodded and walked out of the classroom. I heaved a sigh as the next class came in. Lunch came around, and I sat at my desk eating the lunch I'd packed for myself.

I felt terrible about what happened to Madison. Madison was a good student in my class, and it broke my heart that that had happened to her. The next class I had was teaching Driver's Ed, where once again I was giving a lecture about drunk driving.

The class piled into my room, and the bell rang.

"Today, is the day I talk to you about one of the most common reasons car crashes happen." I started.

"One way you can prevent getting in a crash is not drinking. During the holiday season, it happens more often then ever. Drunk driving. In 2008, 31% of all traffic fatalities were caused by drunk driving alone." I continued.

I continued with my speech, and surprisingly some of the students listened. Then, the bell rang and soon enough, the school day was over.

I walked quickly to my car, and drove to Elizabeth's house.

I knocked on the door and waited for her to come. Elizabeth opened the door and smiled widely.

"Bella, please come in," She greeted. I walked into her house and she led me into the living room.

"Please sit," She smiled. She was drinking tea in her large red arm chair.

"So dear, how have you been?" Elizabeth questioned as she handed me a cup of tea.

"Oh, no thank you," I shook my head at her offer.

"Bella, you've taught teenagers all day," Elizabeth disagreed.

"Fine," I agreed sipping on the cup of tea. It was warm and made me feel a little bit better.

"So how have you been?" Elizabeth questioned.

"Alright, and you?" I responded.

"Fair," She responded.

"I think about him often you know. I miss him," Elizabeth admitted.

"Me too," I nodded.

"He loved you, you know. Edward really did," Elizabeth commented.

I smiled halfway.

"He loved you, too." I spoke.

"Of course, I'm his mother," Elizabeth agreed.

"He would be proud of you," Elizabeth continued.

"I'm not sure about that," I shook my head.

"Oh, he would. You got a Master's degree, Bella. You're educating teenagers, I don't know how you do it," She chuckled softly.

"It's not easy, but I like it. I think that maybe my classes help," I replied.

"They do, Bella. You've won how many golden apple awards?" Elizabeth asked, raising an eye brow.

"One," I blushed.

"And it's only your second year." Elizabeth sighed.

I looked out the window, and for a moment I saw Edward's face. I really was going crazy. For a moment he looked back at me. The only odd thing was that he had topaz eyes.

"Bella, you just look like you've seen a ghost!" Elizabeth's voice got me out of my reverie. _Well, I'm not sure what I saw._

"It was just a bug on the window," I shook my head.

"Well, I better be going," I started as I picked up my bag.

"Thank you so much for the tea, Elizabeth," I smiled.

"It was a pleasure having you here. Come by anytime," Elizabeth spoke.

"I might take you up on that, take care," I responded. She smiled as I went out the door.

I drove home and closed my eyes.

As I looked out my window for the second time that day I saw Edward and then blinked. He wasn't there when I opened my eyes.

**What did you all think? Did you like it? Should I continue?**


	2. Chapter 2

**I really wasn't expecting many reviews, so thank you! Okay, originally this was going to be a short (5-6 chapter) story. I think I'm keeping that idea…Okay, so here's Edward's POV**

**Life After You-Daughtry**

EPOV

Life held absolutely no meaning for me. For five years life was a living hell. I was damned, that much I'm sure. Of course I had eternity to think. I could never sleep, and never see Bella again.

Bella, the beautiful girl I'd fallen in love with when I was human. The only part of my human life I remember was her. The night I was changed, I was thinking of her.

Everyday, I thought about her. Without her, life held no meaning. I remember the beautiful blush that would creep up her cheeks when she was embarassed. I remember her laugh, and how melodic it was. I remember her smile, how it brightened my day. Most of all, I remembered why I love her.

I loved her because she wasn't perfect. I loved her because she was selfless. I loved her because I remember she could always make me smile. I loved her because she was very stubborn. I knew now I would keep loving her.

At the moment, I am sitting at my piano and writing a song about her. Rosalie, Alice, and Esme complain that it's a depressing song. They are absolutely right, it is a sad song. That's how I feel right now, and that's why I'm playing.

First of all, playing the piano takes up time, which I have so much of. Second of all, it gives me minimal relief from the pain of not having Bella.

_Edward, you're sending me way too many emotions. _Jasper complained as he came into my room.

_Sorry. Why are you in here? _I questioned.

_You need to get out of here for once in your life. You can't keep living your life in this room for the rest of forever. _Jasper stated.

_I can and I will. _I responded.

_We can't stand it anymore, it's been five years. Move on. _Jasped continued. No, I could never move on. Ever.

_I will not. _I replied.

_You can't see her again, just move on and be happy. _Jasper remarked.

_I can never be happy. _I shook my head.

_There's always someone else. Bella's from your human life. I'm sure there's a mate for your life now. _Jasper disagreed.

_No, Bella will always be the only one. _I shook my head.

_There's someone out there for you, Edward. _Jasper sighed.

_No there's not. _I shook my head again.

_I give up. I'm sure Alice, and Esme won't but I do. _Jasper sighed longily as he exited my room.

Emmett came in moments later.

_Someone needs to go hunting! _Emmett started.

_I do not. _I responded.

_Dude, you haven't hunted in a week. _Emmett disagreed.

_I don't need to, it's not like I'll die. _I chuckled.

_Yes you do. _Emmett replied.

_No, I do not. _I shook my head, starting to play the piano.

_Still crying over this Bella girl, huh? _Emmett questioned.

I glared at him, and he backed away.

_Okay, so that's a yes. Seriously though, forget about this human chick! _Emmett smiled widely.

"I will never forget her," I spoke gravely.

"Just go hunting," Emmett sighed.

"Fine." I huffed.

"Yes! Guys, Edward's going hunting!" Emmett boomed.

Alice raced up to my room, as did Esme.

"That's wonderful, Edward." Esme smiled motherly.

"Great!" Alice chirped.

With that the three of us set off hunting. After a long hunting session, I raced home.

I realized what today was as I was walking home.

Today was the five year anniversary that I died. I raced to the meadow, where my grave was. Surprisingly, I found someone there. I hid behind a large tree, and peeked out. There was Bella, and her scent was maddening.

I somehow controlled the blood lust. I realized that she was crying. I wanted more than anything to pull her into my arms and comfort her. Sadly, I cannot. Tears slipped down her cheeks, as she spoke.

"It's been five years today." Bella cried. Her voice was just as I remembered it, as was her beauty.

"Five years since you died," Bella sobbed. Her voice was pained and tears were slicing down her lovely cheeks. It broke my dead heart to see this.

"Five years since you went on your last drive." Bella continued.

"Five years since the worst day of my life." She cried brokenly. _That was the worst day of my life, too. _

"Why did you have to get into that car on New Year's?" She whispered softly. _I wish everyday that you could know. _

"You could've stayed home with me," She suggested. I regretted the decesion everyday that I went out.

"You said you had to go somewhere, to pick something up." Bella sobbed her body shaking. My heart was breaking harshly as she said this.

"I still don't know what was so important," Bella shook her head. I wish she could know. Of course nothing was more important than her, and the reason I drove that night was for her.

"I wrote you a letter," Bella cried barely audible.

"Maybe I'm so stupid for doing this, but I feel like you're here with me," She cried, more tears falling.

"I still love you, Edward." She admitted. _I love you, too. _

"Even more every day." She continued. _Same here, love. _

"I'll just leave this letter here," She cried, setting the letter down with shaky fingers.

"Bye, Edward." Bella cried as she walked away. I let out the tearless sob I was holding in. The thought that my angel missed me too, broke my heart. I loved her letters, they let me be with her in a way.

As soon as she was far enough away, I delicately picked up the letter. It was still slightly warm from Bella's touch. I raced back to the house and came into my room. I sat down on the ebony couch, and started reading.

_Dear Edward,_

_I'm sure that I'm crazy. For writing letters to you when you're long gone. I don't know, it relieves me from the pain of your absence. Everyday it gets harder, but I have to keep living. _

_Five years ago, today you decided to get in your car and go get something. Everyday I wonder what was so important. For you to get before you died. I got the call, and I swear Edward, I fell to the ground and sobbed._

_I was sure that night I couldn't live anymore. The pain was almost too much. Your Father, died later that year and left your Mother to fend for herself. I still visit her, and I visit her as much as possible._

_She misses you, Edward. Every time I come she tells me how wonderful of a man you were, and how much you loved me. I'm still not a hundred percent sure that you loved me. I mean someone like you could never ever love a person like me._

_You were perfect, Edward. So much better than I was. I did not deserve someone like you. I could never deserve someone like you. I have nightmares, Edward, every night. About the car crash, over and over again. Like a broken record. _

_And sometimes if I'm really lucky I'll dream about you. That we're in our meadow again, and we're kissing and you say that you love me. Then I have to wake up, and dispel the dream._

_Then I'd have to wake up and face the day. Every one misses you. Renee says what a wonderful boy you were and how you treated me so well. Or Charlie that he misses watching ESPN with you. _

_Sometimes I wake up and wonder if this is actually real. Or if it's all just a nightmare. I did what you've wanted me to do. I went to college, and got a Master's in English. And a teaching degree. _

_Now I teach English and I make my students read Romeo and Juliet every year. I teach drivers ED (to make sure no students drive as fast as you, just kidding.) And of course, to inform the dangers of drinking while driving. As ironic as I miss your fast driving._

_Sometimes I catch myself driving fast, of course I correct myself. I miss everything about you. _

_I love you._

_Yours Forever,_

_Bella_

As soon as I finished the letter I started to cry tearlessly. I missed her too, so much. It relieved me that she felt the same way. I couldn't see her, no matter how much I desired to.

I couldn't risk her getting hurt. She was too precious to me. A monster like me didn't deserve to see an angel like her. Esme came running up the stairs hearing my tearless cry.

"Edward, what's wrong?" Esme asked, worry on her face.

She glanced down and saw the letter.

_I'm so sorry. _She apologized rubbing my back soothingly.

I shook my head.

"Nothing's the same without her," I sighed running a hand through my hair.

_I know. You really love her. _Esme soothed.

_More and more everday. _I nodded.

_There's no way you could..._Esme trailed off.

_No! She can never ever get hurt by me. I will not see her. _I replied.

"If it's hurting you this much and she wants to see you..." Esme suggested.

"I'm terrified that I would hurt her," I rejected.

"You wouldn't though," Esme comforted.

"I know you, Edward. You could never hurt her. I trust you." Esme added.

"I don't trust myself," I replied angrily.

"You should," Esme spoke softly.

"Never say that, Esme," I shook my head.

She touched my cheek soothingly and started walking out of my room.

_You've been miserable for too long. I want to see you happy. _Esme sighed her eyes sad.

I shook my head in despair, and she shut my door softly.

_I'll leave you alone. If you need anything, just holler. _Esme comforted.

_Thank you. _I smiled halfway.

I placed Bella's letters next to all her other ones. The letters were vital to me. I would read them frequently so I could be close to Bella in a way. They were all placed on my bedside table neatly stacked.

I always watched Bella, to make sure she was safe at all times. Even though I couldn't be with her, I still had to protect her. I smelled her scent suddenly as I opened my window and followed it.

Her scent was maddening, freesias and stawberrys. And her blood...Sang to me in every way possible. Her scent abrubtly ended right a large mansion.

I looked through the house for any sign of Bella. I found her talking to a middle aged woman and suddenly Bella and I made eye contact. Her depthless eyes saw mine and showed a glint of curiosity. That turned into her being flabbergasted. She gulped and shook her head.

In seconds I was back at my house, breathing heavily. I didn't even need to breathe and I was having trouble doing so. I hoped she wouldn't get suspicious.

But, being secretive wasn't working as well as I'd hoped. She had after all saw me, maybe for a second. Humans forget, but somehow Bella was different.

I couldn't hear her thoughts. That's the reason why I stared into her eyes for so long. I couldn't hear anything but the woman sitting next to her's thoughts. She was silent.

That's what puzzled me, why couldn't I hear her? Alice came rushing in gasping.

_Edward! _She exclaimed.

_What is it Alice? _I questioned.

All the sudden she showed me her vision.

_Bella was smiling and her eyes were crimson. Bella's standing right next to me and holding my hand. _

"No!" I yelled. Bella could never ever be a monster like me. Never.

_That's Bella, huh? She's beautiful. _Alice marveled.

_"_She's beautiful already! And I won't let that happen!" I grew rigid and angry.

_You looked so happy, though. And I'd love to have another sister. _Alice remarked.

"She doesn't deserve that, Alice." I replied.

_You deserve to be happy, Edward. And so does she. _Alice disagreed.

"She needs to live a human life. A beautiful human life, where she can be happy."

_She's not. She's been in my visions recently and all of them besides this one was her crying. You saw her today, sobbing for you. _Alice reminded.

"I will not damn her, Alice." I replied harshly.

She backed away.

_You two looked so happy. I'm sorry. _She apologized backing away her eyes solemn. I put my head in my hands, and closed my eyes. No matter how hard I tried, I could never sleep.

I was stuck in this un aging body for the rest of eternity. The only way of life was to hunt and remain unsuspcious. The darkness came, and I once again decided to check on Bella.

She was at home and looked very tired. She worked so hard after all. I looked into her window and found her. My breath was taken away at her beauty, once again.

Bella looked around the room, and for the second time today, her eyes met mine. I never wanted to look away. She blinked a few times and looked back. Her eyes met mine again, and I knew I could spend forever just trying to protect her.

**What did ya'll think? Like it? Love it? Hate it? Tell me! Tell me if you want me to continue. Thanks! Please review!**

**-PIB**

**(Princessinblues)**


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